While a new house or neighbourhood is a source of great excitement, it can be traumatic for teenagers, especially if they need to move away from their school and friends.
A University Hospital System of North-Eastern Ohio (USA) study points to moving as being the third most stressful life event after death and divorce, especially for teens as they can often feel that their security is threatened and may not yet have developed the necessary coping skills.
According to the Seeff Property Group, moving house is already a stressful event because there is a lot to think about. Not considering the effect on teenage children can add further stress and it is important to make them part of the move.
This is how you can help teens during this process.
You should be open and forthcoming about the move as soon as possible. Avoid last minute decisions because teenagers need time to adapt and get used to the idea of moving, especially if it involves a new school and city.
Never be dismissive about their concerns or fears. Always work towards allaying these with information and motivation. Start by getting them excited about the move and the new prospects it offers in terms of schooling, friends, and activities in which they are interested.
Give them meaningful tasks to undertake as part of the move. Teens are especially appreciative if their views and opinions count, so involve them. Get them to assist with research and points of interest to share with the family.
Involve them in the choice of area and the home itself. If they are able to see it beforehand, they can get excited about their new room and living spaces. Ensure their needs are catered for in the new home.
Entice them with news about redecorating their room, and new furniture and furnishings so that they can look forward to it. Equipping them with new technology can be an added incentive to ensure they are able to remain in touch with their friends.
If possible, choose a moving date which coincides with the end of the year. This will mean minimal disruption for your teen, and they can start the new year with a fresh outlook in their new home and school.
Encourage them to look at the move as a life adventure to experience new things and areas, and meet new friends. Assure them that they can visit their old friends at any time and that your new home will always be open for their friends to visit as well.
Do not forget to arrange a good-bye party for your teenagers to enjoy with their friends. Ensure this is a special event, whether something at home or an outing to ensure your child (or children) can have a memorable time.
Motivated teens can be a great help with the move. Once you have moved, make a point of enabling your teenager/s to integrate into the community and school. Take them on weekend outings to explore more of the new surroundings as well.
Finally, always be on the lookout for signs of your child/ren not coping and take steps including counselling should that become necessary.
Writer : Gina Meintjes
