Lifestyle Of The Poor And The Not So Famous

Private Property South Africa
Shaun Wewege

So you have no money, no taste and but want to redecorate your home to look like that of a WWE wrestler on a reality TV show or rapper seen on MTV’s Cribs. If you haven’t seen Cribs, all that happens is that a film crew gets invited to look into the homes of hugely wealthy famous people. You have to ask yourself though – what kind of egomaniac is so keen to display their wealth to everyone? This is why the homes we see are gaudy, obscene and quite possibly a desperate plea to be noticed from people we’d usually ignore if they weren’t famous.

It must be fun, in a trashy kind of way, to have gold statues of Roman emperors in the driveway or a stage complete with a stripper pole. If you are on a budget it’s tough to compete. Jerry Seinfeld hired an airport hangar for his Porsche collection. You may have to make do with a shelf for models.

The Inspiration: Celine Dion

She hasn’t produced a radio hit in ages and to be honest, I’m grateful, as are small dogs with sensitive hearing. She owns $20 million “Water-park” house in Florida that uses roughly 6 million gallons of water per year. The entire house is surrounded by giant pools, so friends and family can swim all day and never have to actually see each other. The perfect bonding experience.

The Solution: Inflatable Pools

The Spiderman themed inflatable pool is only R159 – buy a few dozen and you too can live like Miss Dion and still be appreciated by your kids.

titanic

Mrs Dion's immense home in Florida. There is more water here than what entered the Titanic in 1912.

The Inspiration: Tony Hawk

Skateboarding legend Tony Hawk has a four bedroom home, complete with guest house and skate park.

The Solution: Find A Cool Hobby Or Don’t Bother

It makes sense to incorporate your hobbies or work into your house design. But Tony Hawk likes skateboarding and, naturally, has a skatepark. John Travolta is a pilot, has built his own runway and hangar. You may collect stamps. Are you going to build a post office? As a rule you should engage in a hobby that attracts, not bores, potential dates. Once that’s sorted you can include your hobby in your home design.

The Inspiration: Stephen Spielberg

One of the most acclaimed figures in the film industry has a home befitting of his status. His East Hampton property in New York is reputed to be worth approximately $25 million and includes stables and a luxury guest house.

The Solution: Wait? What!

This is the guy who gave us Indiana Jones, Jaws, Close Encounters of a 3rd Kind and Jurassic Park and all he has is stables and a guest house? I could get that even in the smallest towns of South Africa. If I were I guest at Stevie’s place (I think he’d be OK with me calling him that) I’d want secret tunnels, some aliens, a shark-filled moat and a giant dinosaur outside my window. At the very least, a to be chased by rabid squirrel or a have bowl full of mean looking goldfish glare at me as I try to fall asleep.

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