Need A New, New Years Resolution?

Private Property South Africa
Shaun Wewege

It’s a bleak world folks. Your hamburger probably contains donkey and legislation may soon come into place that will limit the amount of alcohol you may drink or keep at home. At least you’ve managed to keep all your New Year’s resolutions. Or have you? My local health club has been quieter these past few weeks and I couldn’t help but wonder where all the New Year’s Resolution People had gone. Then the answer hit me: McDonalds.

I will admit to some smugness, particularly as I am one of those who never makes resolutions and likes to point and laugh at those who fall short. I tend to make grand promises at random points in the year. I find this works better as when they fall flat no one is able to chastise me for a failed New Year’s resolution.

With the Argus now done and dusted many of you may have already made good on your resolutions and have no real goal in mind for the rest of the year. Fear not! We’ve scoured the net and have found the most obscure events for you to take part in.

They may cost money, dignity and potentially be dangerous, but it will all be worth it when you brag to friends, “Yes, I ran the Two Oceans Half Marathon and took part in a cheese rolling contest.”

Extreme Ironing: the name says it all. Generally, you iron clothes while attempting to climb a rock face, water-ski or parachute. If you yen for adventure and hate creased clothes, this is the activity for you.

Cheese Rolling: we’re not making this one up. Head to Cooper’s Hill near Gloucester for this annual event which sees competitors chasing after a cheese wheel down a steep hill. You may break bones falling but if you cross the line first you’ll have a marvellous story to tell at your next cheese fondue.

Shin Kicking: if you enjoy sports such as boxing or cage fighting but couldn’t be bothered to train that intensely, shin kicking might just be your new sport. In years gone by, competitors would wear steel toed boots or try toughen up by hitting their shins with hammers. Sounds like fun!

Chess Boxing: you need brains and brawn to be a champion in this one. Competitors have 11 rounds and alternate between chess and boxing. The winner is determined by either knockout or check-mate. My advice? Try pound your opponent’s head hard early on and hope they falter when it comes to the chess portion of the contest.

Toe Wrestling: if you have a bit of a foot fetish you will most certainly want to try toe wrestling. The concept is the same as arm wrestling, except you will use your foot to try and pin down your opponent. Tradition dictates each player removes the other competitor’s shoes and socks before competing. We couldn’t find a full set of rules but hope that there are restrictions on competitors who deliberately refuse to wash their feet for a few days prior to the contest.

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