Not Quite The House That Jack Built

Private Property South Africa
Shaun Wewege

One of the things I love most about movies is that for a brief period they allow us to suspend reality and submerge ourselves in a make-believe world. Characters in movies or on television shows often have brilliant homes, or features for their houses, that we’d simply love to have.

Here is our top 5 list:

1. Haunted room from 1408: In this ultra-creepy movie based on a Stephen King story, writer Mike Enslin spends a night in a haunted room in which he confronts serial killers, apparitions, a door that won’t open and a radio that switches itself on (that’s not the worst part – it only plays music by The Carpenters). Hauntings will ensure that your guest room is never frequented by cheapskate family members who refuse to shell out for a hotel when they’re in town.

2. A Batcave: Let’s be honest, there is something wrong with a billionaire with a fetish for latex, but a batcave is a brilliant solution to anyone who finds co-habitation with a significant other to be stressful at times. Imagine a lair you could escape to where you wouldn’t have to hear your hubby screaming at the ref. Or a place to watch MacGuyver re-runs without being laughed at.

batcave

This guy built a $2 million Batcave themed cinema in his home.

3. A moat filled with sharks: Say what you will, but a carnivore-filled moat will keep your neighbour from dropping by unannounced and asking to use your lawnmower. Or kids in your garden because they’ve kicked their soccer ball over the wall. If your neighbour is James Bond-like he will probably be able to bypass the sharks and if he does, deserves the mower.

4. A house that talks: Tony Stark might be an arrogant moron, but his house in Iron Man is one of the coolest in movie history. Sure, its super computer can help build advanced warfare. But for the average person a talking house could keep you company if you’re a hermit, tell unexpected visitors you are not at home, reprimand unruly children or pets while you are out or read recipes to you while you cook. Scoff if you will, but a talking house is incredibly practical for day-to-day living.

5. A closet that leads to Narnia: With rising fuel costs, air travel being expensive and the exchange rate dropping quicker than a portly skydiver, a cupboard that leads to a distant land is perfect for when you want to get away but simply can’t afford it.

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