You Think Your Neighbours Are Bad?

Private Property South Africa
Shaun Wewege

Every suburb, block or complex has one. A bad neighbour. One who always peers into your garden, peeks out the window and asks dozens of questions whenever they see you. Privacy violations aside, having a Sherlock Holmes-like neighbour does have some advantages. They are usually the first to spot non-residents in a complex, first to respond to any unusual noises and they possibly have the police on speed-dial. Occasionally one of your guests may be interrogated, but at least the nosy neighbour does a fairly decent job as an unofficial watchdog.

At times though their interference becomes a little irritating, rude and can no longer be viewed as a character quirk. There are those that cross examine kids about what goes on in each household, make notes, go through your mail and become a bit creepy. But all of these pale in comparison to these people.

Martin Kromov liked Robbie Williams. In fact, he liked the British pop star so much that he played the hit song Angels non-stop for a week. This irked his neighbour Alexander Alexandrov to the point that the 45 year old went next door and throttled his Kromov. Alexandrov now has new neighbours in prison. So far he has not complained about music.

David Constantine of Lancashire is the sort of person you do not want to live near you. Pathological and vengeful, he has made life unpleasant for many in his suburb. Luckless neighbour Stefan Ward refused to help Constantine move a motorcycle, which lead to Ward being the subject of a two-year campaign of abuse. He’d be shot with an air rifle while gardening, have his home surrounded by barbed wire while on holiday and was even successfully sued. Constantine hit himself in the face with a frying pan and claimed Ward did it. He tried a similar trick and stabbed himself and had hoped to send Ward to prison on attempted murder charges, but police found diaries that exonerated Ward of these claims.

All of us dream of winning the jackpot but for Mike Carrol in the UK, his win of over R140million would allow him to do things he could only dream of. Unfortunately for new neighbours, Carrol turned his recently acquired country into a dirt racetrack. Non-stop racing and demolition derbies were only made worse by his enjoyment of lighting fireworks, drug-fuelled parties and penchant for criminal activities. He is now broke after spending all Lottery winnings.

The next time the know-it-all, the bragger, the nosey-parker or the crazed hermit gets under your skin, count yourself lucky that you don’t have neigbours like those on the list above.

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