Bon Appetit!

Private Property South Africa
Shaun Wewege

If John Harvey Kellogg had his way, we’d certainly all ingest more water and yoghurt. Unfortunately, his favourite method of ensuring this was an enema, something he often administered to his sanitarium patients.

John and his brother Will’s medical views and nutritional advice are, by today’s standards, definitely dubious. But far stranger than beginning of the world’s most well-known breakfast cereal is the fact that some of the “food” discussed below was, and in some cases still is, in demand.

Seriously?

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a zombie but just not be able to bring yourself to eat a neighbour? Then canned pork brains may just be the perfect meal for you. The company responsible for pickling poor Porky’s grey matter felt that demand for this product was very low, leading to its eventual discontinuation. Today, Armour produces slightly more appetizing canned goods and encourages good Americans to use their products in the event of a disaster.

Let’s be honest – who doesn’t love a good Sunday lunch … roast chicken with stuffing, crispy potatoes and fresh veggies. This may very well be the perfect meal but it does take rather long to prepare. Enter the whole canned chicken. Who needs to pre-heat the oven, make stuffing and spice a bird when all you need is a tin opener?

Egg-xactly not!

I must admit, I enjoy the complexity of a roast duck in plum sauce but am certainly all for simpler dishes, such as an egg on toast. The compromise? A dish called balut, a developing duck embryo that is boiled alive and eaten in the shell. It’s unsurprising that this dish is seldom eaten outside Southeast Asia and almost never gets featured on any of Nigella’s television shows.

Do you ever get the feeling that someone is watching while you eat? You should either cut down on the hallucinogens or perhaps order a dish other than tuna eyeball. The upside of eating this Japanese delicacy is that you have endless opportunities to make bad puns on a first date where the conversation is drying out. You can try, “I’ve had my eye on you for some time” or “You’re a sight for sore eyes”.

Exercise some caution …

How often, while attempting a new dish in an exotic restaurant, have you uttered the phrase, “I don’t mind trying that – I’ll be the guinea pig”. As it turns out, in Peru, your exotic dish may be an actual guinea pig. The dish is widely eaten in the Andean region and is possibly as popular there as boerewors rolls are here.

Menudo, apart from being the name of a band that Ricky Martin once sang in, is a popular Mexican soup. If people tell you that you have no backbone, a few bowls of Menudo should help alter the perception because one of the chief ingredients is a spinal column. A cow’s stomach is added for extra flavour.

Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub. Or, more possibly, not.

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