Pimp Your Tree

Private Property South Africa
Shaun Wewege

Tis’ the season to be jolly. And spend wads of cash on presents for ungrateful nephews. And have your ears assaulted by endless renditions of the Little Drummer Boy. The yuletide spirit certainly seems to disappear as we get older and realise that the gifts we received and year-end holidays we went on as kids came at great expense to our parents. Does this mean that the festive season has lost its meaning for adults? Certainly not. Sure, you could delight in seeing the joy on kids’ faces as you make this Christmas a memorable one for them. Or you could engage your inner child and pimp your Christmas tree.

yoda and darth

We love the look of this bright red Christmas tree and know that it will set tongues wagging. It’s expensive, outlandish and its accompanying red lights will no doubt make your living room look like downtown Amsterdam. There are also a few trees that are jet black. These are perfect if you want to scare visitors into thinking you are the Addams family, particularly if used in tandem with these creepy decorations.

With inflation being what it is and prices rising at a rapid rate, many Martha Stewart types are advocating a return to simpler times by making your own tree decorations. I have to agree. It’s cheaper and you can personalise it. Many people hang pieces of candy or chocolate on the tree but like this writer, I think bacon makes a brilliant if somewhat impractical tree decoration. I might develop this idea and see if my tree can withstand the weight of an eisbein.

Your tree can also tell visitors a little bit about you. A tree adorned with Santas, elves and reindeer lets guests know that you are a traditionalist. If you have the Han Solo, Chewbacca and Darth Vader on your tree, visitors will be able to guess that it’s been a while since you have been on a date. Still, these Star Wars decorations are pretty nifty. In fact, if you can dream it, the web has decorations of it. Don’t believe me? Take a look at these Village People crossed with mermaid decorations and zombie ornaments.

A few other non-traditional items to consider:

This plywood tree will appeal to the art lover. And if you run out of braai wood you have kindling.

• If you have inebriate guests who overstay their welcome and you can always show them this upside down tree. They’ll be terrified, you’ll stay amused.

• If you want to keep the kids busy for hours let them put up and decorate this giant Lego tree.

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