The Lighter Side of Sellers

The Lighter Side of Sellers

Private Property South Africa
Lea Jacobs

As with buyers, sellers come in all shapes, sizes and personality types. We take a tongue-in-cheek look at who is out there and what buyers can expect when they go to view certain homes.

The Over Zealous Type: Meets every buyer at the door with a pot of tea and a plate of freshly baked brownies. Hot on the heels of the buying party, they steadfastly follow the troop from room to room, pointing out and commenting on the obvious. This is never going to be a quick in-and out exercise and it is highly recommended that buyers take a pack of tranquilisers along.

The Perfectionist: In these type’s minds, everything is on-show including the 2.4 children and the beautifully groomed dog. Although, generally speaking, these types of seller’s homes are very appealing, it does become a little disconcerting when the owner follows the buyer and agent around with a mop, just in case they leave footprints on her freshly-mopped tiles.

The Over-protective Seller: If you didn’t know better you’d swear that they had 15 bodies buried in the back garden. These types expect the estate agent to run a FBI check on the buyer’s background before they will let them through the door. Deeply secretive, they never divulge the reason for selling but will question the buyer’s motive for wanting to buy the property.

The Misinformed Seller: Truly believes that his house is worth a packet. Won’t listen to advice and isn’t willing to fix any problem areas because he believes that he is fully covered by the voetstoots clause.

The Estate Agent Wannabe: Knows far more than any estate agent and actually thought about becoming an agent in the past before selling cars. This type believes he has the sales patter down to a fine art and constantly tosses words into the conversation like, ‘deal of a lifetime’, ‘if you snooze you lose’ and ‘I can see you in this house’.

Cool Hand Luke: Tricky one this. Brush up your poker face before viewing and keep your aces close to your chest. Do not be deceived by his seemingly cool demeanour, he knows exactly what he is doing. Be warned, this dude’s eyelids won’t flicker when he is presented with a ludicrous offer.

The Pedantic Pensioner: Bought the property for R10 500 back in 1962. Believes it is now worth R5.5-million even though the last time he made any improvements was in 1975. Warning: the orange shag pile carpet in the lounge could be hazardous to you and your stiletto heels.

The Geek: Aka the Gadget King, this person knows his gadgets and owns an electronic device for every function in the home. Would rather leave his girlfriend behind than any of his prized accessories. Don’t be too disappointed when the nifty automatic curtain opener or retina scan access system isn’t included in the sale.

The Pathological Liar: Last told the truth in 1988. This individual will say anything in order to secure a sale. Do not be surprised to hear that numerous members of the British Royal Family have actually slept in one of the rooms and Madiba had romped in the pool as a child. Treat this individual with caution, unless he can provide autographed photographic evidence.


Found this content useful?

Get the best of Private Property's latest news and advice delivered straight to your inbox each week

Related Articles

Add value to your home with the right choice of fireplace
Latest trends in fireplaces that will warm your home and add value to your property.
Tips for heating your home and saving money
Saving electricity makes excellent financial sense, and with winter coming up it pays to look at ways of warming your home that will save money in the process.
Safety and security tips for agents
Estate agents need to be alert and aware of the risks involved in showing properties and meeting new clients.
Gas installations – what homeowners need to know
All gas installations need certificates of compliance issued by certified installers.